If she tells him: “I feel upset about you,” is she using violent communication?

When we talk about Nonviolent Communication, we need to establish a meeting of feelings, but we must separate our needs from the common needs. Every time we face a problem, we need to think first about what they went through and why they did something we don’t like. Are we sure that we will react based on what we want? Is it necessary? Is it going to add something to us? In this case, the woman doesn’t say why she feels upset, so the man can’t change anything, which may frustrate him, showing that her feelings are above the common needs. In Nonviolent Communication, we must show what the problem is and what the solution is. She could say why she feels upset and give him an answer instead of creating an even worse situation. You can see a more profound analysis in this video (3:59 to 4:45): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sjA90hvnQ0

Photo by Damir Spanic on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/8SuZ4l4C3FA